Day 3 of 47. 

Wow. 

This trip has already been so good for my soul. It’s the simplest moments that have blown me away the most. The open road. The clear blue sky. A perfectly placed flower here. The sun shining just right on that valley over there. My eyes are begging my heart to believe in beautiful things again. 

In Little Rock, at the hospital, it was often difficult to see past the barrier of heartache, suffering and sorrow. Those hospital walls were full of hurt leaving me (feeling) helpless and pain leaving me (feeling) powerless. I could walk outside, see the sun sparkling on a cloudless day,  but I wondered: is there still beauty in the world? The only thing that broke through my doubt was Oliver. 

Oliver was beautiful. 

He was perfect. From his full head of dark brown hair to his big, blue eyes; his satin skin to his baby biceps; his cute, button nose to his sweet, kissable lips; his tiny, reassuring grip to his flawless baby feet; Oliver encompassed all the beauty my heart needed to continue hoping. 

But now he’s gone. 

At first I believed Oliver took ALL of the beauty with him on March 24th, 2018. My world turned grey. Darkness & heaviness settled in. Somebody crushed my rose colored glasses...

Slowly but surely I’ve started to look around (by the grace of God) and see the beauty life has to offer again. 

We’re members of the Botanical Garden of the Ozarks back home so I’ve kind of made it my (secret) mission to visit many botanicals gardens across the country. The Denver Botanic Gardens DID NOT disappoint. I’m not sure how they managed to fit so much beauty into space. The land was broken up into different gardens. Each individual and unique. My favorite was the tea garden: tranquil and clean. Ryan was intrigued by the Bonsai Trees. He found one planted the year he was born! Eleanor enjoyed finding and chasing grasshoppers, dragonflies and bunnies! We both loved seeing Eleanor explore her world. 

In the car yesterday Eleanor wanted the iPad to pass the time. I encouraged her to, “Look up! See what you’re missing! If you’re looking down the entire time you’ll miss the beauty all around.” 

I need to take my own advice. 

If I’m looking down in my misery all the time I’ll miss it. Don’t get me wrong- 

“There is a time for everything - a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones & a time to gather them. "Ecclesiastes 3: 1,4 & 5"

For me - Now is the time to LOOK UP, fix my eyes on Christ and BELIEVE in beauty again as we remember our beautiful, strong Oliver. 

Thanks for being on this journey with us, 

Molly, Ryan, Eleanor & Oliver